Customer: My house is on fire.
Customer support: Hi, My name’s Lindsay, I’ll be taking care of you today. First let me take some details.
Customer: My fuckin’ house is on fire.
Customer support: Oh, I’m sorry to hear that. Do you want to speak to a customer service representative, do you have a section 309?
Customer: What the fuck is a 309, my house is on fire.
Customer support: I’m glad to hear that. You have a nice day now. Goodbye.
Customer: Ma maison est en train de bruler (My house is on Fire).
Customer support: (in French) This office is open between 9:45 and 11:30 Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. If you have an emergency, please call the departmental civil service bureau of fires that occur between 14:00 and 14:30pm in the afternoon in Provence, dept: 3104569.
Customer: (and with a French accent, naturellement) ello ees zis departement 3104569.
Department 3104569: Wee, bonjoor.
Customer: Ma house eez en fayuhr. Please elp.
Department 3104569: Impossible .Thees ees not ma problehm, I ave juhst retired.
Customer: Sorry to bother you but my house is on fire.
Customer support: Computer says no.